Editor’s Note: As a new member of UU Reflections, the writers’ group at First Unitarian Universalist Church in Rochester, Minnesota, Richard explains how he became a Unitarian.
***
American forces had been in Vietnam since 1962. I heeded the call in 1968, joining the
army infantry, hoping to stall the invasion of South Vietnam by the communist North. I
believed in the government’s domino theory: countries in southeast Asia falling to
communism. I was idealistic, thinking I could help bring peace and democracy to South
Vietnam. Members of Mt. Zion Lutheran Church, just outside of Milwaukee, sent me off
with great fanfare.
Not many people of my generation would remember 1969, the year I was deployed to
Vietnam. It would be another six agonizing years before the war finally came to an end.
Public sentiment about the war changed dramatically while I was away. My hometown
Lutheran church did not welcome me home.
I returned from Vietnam fifty-four years ago, on the 20th of December 1970, a date that I
remember vividly. I began to reminisce recently about my tour of duty in Vietnam, but I
soon realized that there are not many ways to freshen up a fifty-year-old story. Nonetheless, I can recall the flight home from Cam Ranh Bay to Guam, then on to Seattle, and
eventually to O’Hare Field in a stretch DC-8, as if it were yesterday. I went from 90
degrees temperature, and 90% humidity in Cam Ranh Bay, to a blizzard that had all but
shut down O’Hare Airport. Christine, my wife, had driven down from our home in
Racine, Wisconsin, in near total white-out conditions to greet me.
Even though I knew that Christine was waiting for me at the other end of the jetway, I
simply could not get off the plane. I was paralyzed. Everything seemed too abrupt.
Everything was different. I had a premonition that my life was never going to return to
‘normal’ anyway. I was the last one off the plane and Christine thought that, after
thirteen months, I should have been the first. She was pissed. Big time.
There were many changes to navigate at home. Among them was a need to reconcile
with God. Eventually I found friendship with a young Unitarian minister at the Unity
Unitarian-Universalist Church in St. Paul. The Unitarians struck me as non-judgmental,
and I became a friend of Roy Phillips and a member of his church for some 40 years.
Now I tell people that I’m a recovering Lutheran.
Copyright © 2024 by Richard Wolfgramm
Your story is a duplicate of my husband’s experience. Of going to Vietnam, celebrating their war successes, returning home and being confused, angry and shunned by folks in his hometown. As the days turned into years guilt for the horrors of their successes took a grip on his mind and heart. People take pride in saying, “Thank you for your service.” Unfortunately for many who saw the horrors of war first hand that statement is a painful one. Richard thanks for bringing your experience into written form to hopefully begin healing in your heart and the hearts of many comrades.
Thank you for your service, sacrifice, and honest reflection. While I have not directly served, I am the daughter of 2 career military veterans who entered the Navy at the height of the Cold War and served for 20 and 32 years. I have known many who have struggled with returning to civilian life, including my father, and I appreciate the courage it takes to speak about it. Thank you.
Thanks for your honest reflections on your service in Vietnam. It was a dark time for the nation and a frightening, confusing, and life-threatening time for those of us called to serve. Coming home and re-entering society was full of mixed feelings as you describe in your paralysis trying to leave the plane. I can’t imagine how difficult it was to reunite with a wife you hadn’t seen for a year in a country that had undergone drastic change. I appreciate your story and want to say welcome home. I’m glad you found your place again.
Thank you for going to Vietnam. It is still jarring to realize the pain suffered by those, like you, who returned. I stand indicted as one of those Lutherans who didn’t know that we were not meeting the needs of those returning. Fifty four years later, we still have much to learn from those of you who experienced it. Thanks for writing.
Papa, Welcome Home and congratulations on another wonderfully written message.
Love, Miss Madeleine
Richard, I didn’t get sent to Vietnam as I served in the Coast Guard from ’62 till ’66 on the East Coast. And I too have memories of being looked down upon in uniform, but not spat on like some high school classmates. Those were tough times. I’m glad to see you made it through. Your writing about your experience Is very moving to me, so thank you.
This essay, covering your service in Vietnam then reintegrating into life back here in the US, is so touching Richard. Though not having brothers myself, or other family members serving, I recall breaking down in tears upon hearing the Vietnam war had officially ended. May the honesty of your words continue to inspire vets, and those impacted by the trauma of war, to put their reflections and feelings on paper, and may meaningful conversations unfold from there.
Richard, Thank you for your service but mostly, thank you for giving us a glimpse into your emotional struggles as you re-entered civilian life.
I’m glad you have found a welcoming church home.
Dear Richard, I was very moved by your reflection. I graduated in 1969 and I well remember the era. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to try to freshen up a 50 year old story. I enjoyed your writing style, it was very much like a conversation.
Many come to UU after being wounded by another religion. Your journey, your paralysis, reflect and acknowledge a difficult journey by many, including my husband. Thank you for sharing a sincere story that touches my heart.