Aging as a Spiritual Practice

Editor’s Note: This small artwork, only 8″ x 8″, is an original oil painting by Arizona artist Bev Johnson. I call it “Grandmother”. I talk to this old woman who represents to me the joys and sorrows of aging, especially for women  — happier days sitting in a circle weaving her clothes with women friends; now near life’s end, trudging along, perhaps alone, carrying her joys and sorrows. I’m wondering what is on her mind. She was a focus of my retreat. 

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I recently gave myself the gift of a six-day, news-free, silent retreat in my home while my husband was in New York. In planning for the retreat I turned to a book that provided structure for it: “Aging as a Spiritual Practice: A Contemplative Guide to Growing Older and Wiser” by Zen Buddhist priest and meditation teacher Lewis Richmond.

I am not a Buddhist nor do I recognize it as a religion. Instead to me it is a time-tested psychology about how to grow up to be a mature adult and live sanely, peacefully, and productively in this crazy, chaotic world we humans have created.

Over the course of the retreat I read (or thumbed through) many books,  listened to Buddhist tapes, and contemplated what I was learning. I meditated using insight mediation techniques focusing on the breath. I wrote “Morning Pages”, a writing practice learned from Julia Cameron which I have used in the many memoir-writing classes I have facilitated in Idaho, Arizona, and now Minnesota. I also created an altar, something I had never done before. I sat in front of it contemplating its pictures and objects. I treated myself to wonderful (vegetarian) food and lots and lots of tea. I exercised lightly and attempted walking meditations, learned from a Buddhist nun, in our small, but colorful and art-filled home.

Aha moments rose and fell; some tears were shed; my heart swelled with appreciation for my life and those in it, past and present. I also forgave myself for my many mistakes and at the same time applauded my many successes.

Instead of revealing Lewis Richmond’s words of wisdom from his book, I will simply recommend it. I do want to share with you though what Lewis Richmond calls a lovingkindness mantra or prayer that  has become my steady companion. Maybe it will become yours as you walk, drive, eat, and live life.

“As I grow older, may I be kind to myself;
As I grow older, may I accept joy and sorrow;
As I grow older, may I be happy and at peace.”

(It continues as we widen our circle of concern for others) . . .

“As each of us grows older, may we be kind to ourselves;
As each of us grows older, may we accept joy and sorrow;
As each of us grows older, may we be happy and at peace.

As all beings grow older, may they be kind to themselves;
As all beings grow older, may they accept joy and sorrow;
As all beings grow older, may they be happy and at peace.”

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Here are a few visuals from my retreat to give you an idea of its flavor.