The other day I realized that the activity of doing the laundry has an almost spiritual component for me. As I puzzled over this troubling thought, I traced its root. Ah yes, a saying from my mother: “No matter how sick or tired you are, you can always wash a load of clothes.”
Myself, being a person whose chief character flaw is never finishing anything, this truth stuck with me. Finishing the laundry relieves and soothes my guilt, for I can say: “Here, I finished something!”
Doing laundry is gender neutral. Everyone must do the laundry though it all too often falls on women. Laundry is seldom done as a team activity. Who follows you to the laundry room? No one. Only a puppy or a toddler comes along for a few trips. My point is no one comes to help you. Although women often complain about the drudgery or obligation of the task, there is a secret pleasure in being alone.
Women may, for a short time, outsource the laundry to another. However, the offer is quickly rescinded. Reason: “Look how they folded my clean clothes! What is wrong with them! Why do they wait so long to put the clothes in the dryer? Why do they wash everything on sanitize except their own gym clothes!”
There are spiritual benefits to this secret escape. To do the wash, you are part of making dirty things clean again. Isn’t that transformation? Also, when you do the wash for your family, you are treated with the “fragrance” of each person in your household. It’s a friendly reminder that you are not alone; you are part of a tribe. I can still remember washing the last of my youngest son’s clothes after he left for college. My eyes teared up and yet I smiled doing his last load. I was sad he had grown up so quickly.
When I was in college, I remember apartments without washing machines, so I spent a Friday or Saturday night in a laundromat. I became a target of a Christian crusader, or worse, I remember feeling vulnerable being alone with all my favorite clothes in the washer. How could I just run off when a strange individual showed up with their wash?
Having five children and doing their washing was the equivalent of a second job. I tried to teach them. However, their frequent damage to the washer and dryer outweighed the time I saved teaching them this life skill. Who would wash five pairs of tennis shoes and a leather belt together?
With any spiritual experience there needs to be gratitude. With all honesty, I do thank my washer and dryer each time I use them — if they perform properly. I remember some disastrous final loads of my machines, having to wring comforters out by hand in the winter, taking bucket upon bucket of water out of my washer with an eighteen-pound baby in a carrier strapped to my chest. I am very grateful when my favorite servant machines are working properly.
Despite all the risks and disasters I have experienced, I am not willing to relinquish my job assignment of head laundress. But I remind my husband to be worried if I sign my cards to him “From your laundress”. That may mean I need a little more verbal gratitude for all the clean piles of clothes I deliver to him.
Yes, with each completed load, I know my mother was right: No matter how sick or tired I am, I can always wash a load of clothes. The spiritual and practical benefits are many: having time alone in a busy household; reforming a character flaw by completing the laundry task; transforming the world by making it a cleaner place; allowing the scents of my family to waft over me reminding me that I am not alone, that I am part of a tribe. And for all this I have gratitude for my properly working washer and dryer, and for the laundry providing me with an unexpected spiritual experience.
Copyright © 2024 by Carolee Nelson-Hall
A great way to look at it! I’m not a laundry fan once having traded cleaning a 4 bdrm house while they washed clothes at mine!! But now alone, I miss the stinky ballet leotards and muddy football uniforms!
Love how you touch on insights and thread the themes through the story. Masterful style and I can smell the freshness! Thank you for sharing Carolee. 🧺
Excellent essay. Seriously. Also, I’m sorry if I was the one who put in 5 pairs of tennis shoes with a belt. That does sound like my MO.
I loved your writing. This gives me a whole new perspective on performing repeated menial tasks that keep home and family managed.
Carolee, I think of this story EVERY time I do my laundry! I wonder what my alone time would be if I counted up my many years of accumulated time?
I am grateful for your positive perspective on an often unappreciated chore.